I'm aware that some friendships run their course. I don't deny what they were and what currently is. In a feng-shui attack in attempt to simplify my life, seek clarity, and getting rid of some clutter, I've ended some lingering friendships that weren't really friendships at all. It sounds cold-hearted but there's no use in lying about the way things are. I walked away from these relationships having down everything possible to salvage them. My attempts were futile.
Amber thinks that perhaps I'm being a bit haste. She's got magnificent heart-I love her to death. I recognize that my heart is closed to some degree. I look to what is good in my life and I'm immediately reminded of my closest friends and family. I've been hurt so many times and sometimes I inflicted this pain on myself.
Amber thinks my heart is as big as hears and I almost cried because I've let hurt and mistakes define how I view myself and worse, how I deal with things. I love people and perhaps getting rid of them before they hurt me is just easier on me to handle.
Is my heart open or have I been filtering out the unwanted as soon as I asses them as an opportunity for someone to hurt me? I stand by my choices as painful as they might seem. It's no easy task to walk away without looking back but I am an adult now and I expect friends to be friends through thick and thin and unfortunately I haven't seen that in a couple of friends. Look at me now, doing the same thing, walking away. I'm perpetuating the very same thing that I'm chastising. This paradox is the offspring of how I deal with emotional pain. Perhaps there is escape but I haven't been able to reason a compromise between my optimism and cynicism with regards to friendships.
The journey continues. I don't believe in replacements, but as I say goodbye to great people in my life I say hello to some new ones who will undoubtedly bring love and light in the true spirit of growth and friendship.
Amber thinks that perhaps I'm being a bit haste. She's got magnificent heart-I love her to death. I recognize that my heart is closed to some degree. I look to what is good in my life and I'm immediately reminded of my closest friends and family. I've been hurt so many times and sometimes I inflicted this pain on myself.
Amber thinks my heart is as big as hears and I almost cried because I've let hurt and mistakes define how I view myself and worse, how I deal with things. I love people and perhaps getting rid of them before they hurt me is just easier on me to handle.
Is my heart open or have I been filtering out the unwanted as soon as I asses them as an opportunity for someone to hurt me? I stand by my choices as painful as they might seem. It's no easy task to walk away without looking back but I am an adult now and I expect friends to be friends through thick and thin and unfortunately I haven't seen that in a couple of friends. Look at me now, doing the same thing, walking away. I'm perpetuating the very same thing that I'm chastising. This paradox is the offspring of how I deal with emotional pain. Perhaps there is escape but I haven't been able to reason a compromise between my optimism and cynicism with regards to friendships.
The journey continues. I don't believe in replacements, but as I say goodbye to great people in my life I say hello to some new ones who will undoubtedly bring love and light in the true spirit of growth and friendship.
2 comments:
It's not a bad thing to have tertiary friends. As long as the feeling is mutual as to what degree of friendship the two of you have, I think it's totally fine and normal. I've been known in my day to walk away from these relationships for these reasons: constantly flaking out on me, forgetting I was with them to that thing they just told me about, pretending not to know me at the club... you get the idea. I think these are offenses not be forgiven. But that's just me, it's a personal decision when and where to draw the line. For instance, I still keep in contact with people who are horrible at returning phone calls or just very unavailable in general but they're just so awesome and interesting personality-wise that I'll take any scraps of time they are willing to offer.
Interesting comment by this here "anonymous" person. Makes you think.
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