Busy Saturday: A quick run-down

I woke up early Saturday morning to finish up some work at Parsons. I headed home to change then met up with Eduardo for a Tae-Kwando tournament that a friend of his organized and participated in. We scoped out Old Town then settled for a bite to eat at the Cheese Factory where half way into our delicious lunch we're spotted by no other than Councilwoman Jacque Robinson! It's always great to see her, even she's on Team Obama.

I carpooled with Eduardo and his friend Juan to Hector Silva's Art Exhibit then proceeded to Akbar for Jame's Berfday. It's so much fun expanding my circle of friends in addition to strengthening my current friendships. After Akbar we headed to Arena but only after a pit stop to have a beer. I had such a blast at Arena, even though it was rushed, I got to chat with a bunch of friends like Jose NAK, Gerardo (one of Tarsi's closest friends), Dedan (I got a huge this time), Mikey and Brooklyn (these guys are so much fun). The night ended with some beers and some much needed sleep, I had a blast!

Birthday Boys!

Big hugs to my Ryan, Juan, Spike and of course my brother Danny, on their very special day, happy birthday! My brother said he has an awesome time, I called him at 4am and poor guy was recovering from a night of birthday fun. Spike, I owe you one. I know you party like a supahfreak so post some pictures soon!

I did however, party with Ryan and all his friends. I picked up Edu and headed for the Abbey. I love Ryan's friends, they're very successful and positive people who I can totally see myself being around more as I get to know them. After the Abbey we rushed off to Circus where of course parking was a hot mess but alas, we made it in!

It was imperative I make a cameo at Circus to celebrate with Nelson's boy Juan! He seemed to drunk and out of it, loved that guy. It was only a matter of time before I saw everyone else at Circus, Nelson, Adolfo, Alex, Marty, I mean you name it and they were there. Apparently I hooked up Adolfo with some cute guy, ha ha. I tend to do that, I know I've hooked up Alex a couple of times so it didn't surprise me when Adolfo told me what went down.

The night was terrific fun! No drama, no tears this time! The next day was even better, actually...I won't get into it, but I had a great time.

A Plan B comeback?

I wanted to cut Dedan off completely. I thought if there was anyone I could turn to it would be Dedan, a guy who comes off confident, sincere, intelligent and good hearted. We had a moment of closeness that soon vanished after he made a recovery from things he needed to deal with. Instead of following my usual pattern of anger followed by bitterness, I walked away. He tried contacting me a couple of times but only after reading my blog and I certainly didn't want to talk to him just because he read things about himself. A dual sense of pride and indifference made it easy to walk away. Look, I don't need friends who don't make the time for friendships or much less, who aren't there when it really counts. Fake friends, is the term right? The friendship Dedan and I had wasn't fake, it was genuine (I want to believe anyway), but I got the feeling he didn't care to be friends and my suspicions were backed up his actions a few times over.

Dedan paid me a call, early on the conversation was headed into acting like everything was okay when it clearly wasn't. I made my feelings clear and he was receptive to my words. He's not the type of person who would intentionally hurt someone's feelings, but I do think that he is careless about some friendships. In fact, I tried inviting him out for drinks sometime next week knowing that he was expecting friends from out of town this weekend, and of course...he said maybe, opting for doing a weekend of nothing so he can recover. Has nothing changed? I thought he understood. I thought he already recovered. Am I going to be put on the back burner subjected to his mundane excuses of already having plans, tending to his friends, going out of town, or needing to take a weekend off so he can recover from life?

I ended the conversation by challenging him to follow up with the drinks thing if he really did want to be friends. I refuse and won't be a stand by friend to anyone. I would love to keep Dedan as a friend, but if it's not meant to be there's no reason to force it. We're both grown enough to realize that we don't need to be clutter in each other's lives.

It looks bleak but if Hillary can make a comeback then why not Plan B?

I'm rich b*tch!

The gifts you bring
You make me a wealthy person for giving yourself the authority to be incredible people. Through you I learn, I grow and I am one step closer in finding myself and getting to where I want to be.

I remain strong and optimistic because of the friendships that have been made stronger in these last few weeks.

The gifts you bring to my life are the nutrients I need to get through each day and the inspiration that guides me to reach for my dreams.

Tarsi (honor), Spike (optimism), Roxy (sensitivity), Alex (character), Carmen (joy), Nydia (understanding), Elkin (humility), Nelson (genuineness), Abel (drive), Jorgie (diligence), Rosa (trust) I love you.

A Quarterlife Roxstar

Roxane: Amazing Legs and Simply Amazing at 25!
Thanks for the great night, Christopher Lawrence is off the chain! Any place that has straight men dancing with each other is okay with me, especially if they're hot. This one's for you Rox, HAPPY BERFDAY my fabulous friend!

Phone time

Being on the phone is possibly the most annoying thing in the world for me (aside from Republicans of course). Most of you know that my phone is usually off preferring to communicate via email, AIM or myspace, it's what works for me and I'm going with it. I receive several text messages from numbers that I don't recognize. I don't even know who was asking me earlier today about any hot spots in Santa Barbara. Yes, it's true, I only have about 15 numbers stored on my phone and I've had this particular one for over a year and a half. I don't even charge the stupid thing therefore I keep misplacing it for days straight without ever realizing it. Sick, right?

Change may be on the horizon. I've had the best talks with Spike in recent days. Speaking with that guy is a total upper for me, mostly because of the kind of guy he is and the energy that exudes. I love his sincerity and thank him for his genuine interest in checking in with me to see how I'm doing. I've only seen Spike trashed one time and boy, I'm talking chunks! Here's hoping that Vegas is still in the cards for his berfday and if not, an overdue trip to the bay will happen sooner than later.

Sergio, wow, this guy is a total bad-ass. His dedication to his career and politics is fascinating and refreshing. Despite the fact that he too is on Team Obama, he's stated many times that he'll support the eventual Democratic nominee as I plan to do as well. This guy is in love with his community and with the country, I don't question his commitment to his politics and applaud his many efforts. This past year has been incredibly hectic for me and sometimes the frustration can be more overwhelming than I've been prepared to handle. Sergio has completely mastered how to excel in the job sector as well as in the various organizations that he's involved with. What's most amazing to me is that every time I see this guy, he has the happiest disposition on full display. Our conversation yesterday was just what I needed. If there is a future in politics for me, Sergio will be the ideal adviser for a campaign.

I'll give turning my phone on more often.

Have you heard of Staaaaanford?

That's how we met, I felt like such a dumb ass. He totally checked me! There was some initial eye contact and I made my way over towards him to engage in small talk. I was checked!!! Keith totally returned my serve by letting me know who he was after I tried making a point that I wasn't some uneducated Latino guy at Akbar. Why the need for such sass, who knows! I was trying to be funny but maybe also secretly wanting him to see me in a special way. I'll be honest, some gay white dudes make me feel incredibly insecure and I pegged Keith for being one of these pretentious and superficial dudes (of course now I know that many latinos can be far more terrible). Where did my Keith go?

Can I just say that Keith is my favorite white-Mexican ever?! Not only does this guy have an incredible work ethic, but he's very much into physical fitness. He's got a thing for the brown boys and Tarsi was always fond of Keith's looks and muscles. Why isn't he rubbing off on me? He might be just the connection that Alex needs in landing a promising job in Keith's company. It's all premature of course but Alex is enthusiastic and Keith is too but for reasons that will stay between Keith and I. Have I mentioned that both of them are Stanford Alumni? I think a happy hour night is definitely in the cards for the three of us in the near future. I'll be sure to also invite someone who went to UCR or some Cal State so that I don't feel so overwhelmed, ha ha!

My friendship with Keith has suffered tremendously over the past year. Hanging out with Keith and his friends at Formosa was an memorable for so many reasons! The place was a smashing good time, the company extremely fun and well...we're due for a night of madness.

Keith is a former NCAA gymnast competing for Stanford University. Here's a glimpse into one of his many talents.

Green eyed Mike: Riddle me this

Mikey Mikey Mikey...

My circle of best friends are randomly born from unconventional situations. There's usually alcohol involved. Mikey I met through an old friend, David and initially I didn't know what to make of this introduction mostly because I was charming (drunk). Mikey, do you understand the riddle now? There were no apples!

There's nothing but love and admiration for this guy. Mikey is unique because he genuinely cares for the well being of people and reminds has an uncanny similarity to my Councilwoman, Jacque Robinson, both being great listeners who truly and patiently care to hear and understand people. Mike's tired of my propaganda but I think he loves it that I'm so passionate about my girl, Hillary. I don't blame Mikey for following Obama. He's drawn to Obama like one of the little rats under the spell of the musical sounds in the story of the Pied Piper! I thought you knew better, Mikey, weren't you poli sci at UCLA?! If you need tips on how to distinguish between beautiful sounds and actual substance give me a holler! :)

We've decided to press forward and plan a fruit loop in March and Freddy will also be a co-host! Stay tunned for invites!

Missing you...

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. -Eleanor Roosevelt

What do you do when your soul hurts? I've been mourning the loss of two friends for far too long. Through this writing I'm hoping to let go of this pain and heal these wounds. These friends didn't pass away, but they have chosen a path that I am no in. It's difficult to open my heart, I'm so full of shit and pain that it's hard for me to understand myself. I'll try as best as I can.

UCSB experience blessed me with incredible opportunities and paths that someway or another connected me to some of the most amazing people I've met thus far in life. In fact, my closest friends today I met at UCSB and not in the most conventional ways.

Nancy (pictured at top) was one of my closest friends circa 2001. Her and I were both going through an awful year for differing reasons. She was stability and I was her confidant. That year was incredibly fun as college should be sometimes. We were inseparable all summer and really bonded through our shared pain and willingness to rise above it. Nancy and I drifted apart but we did try and keep the lines of communication open although I think both of us dropped the ball for personal reasons.

Three months ago I received an email from Nancy letting me know that she's now married and that despite her love for me, she doesn't approve of my lifestyle and for that very reason our paths must go in separate ways. I've never had to face loosing a friend because of my sexuality. Why is being gay an issue all of a sudden, it's not like I was ever trying to sleep with a boyfriend of hers or anything. She was perfectly comfortable and open to understanding who I was back then. A devout Jehovah's Witness now, Nancy isn't the same person I first met. I believe her faith has everything to do with why she's decided to terminate our friendship. It hurts but despite the pain I hope she's happy with her choices in life and wish her no ill will.

Taylor (2nd picture) is by far one of the most accomplished friends I've ever met. Her intelligence is equally complemented by her amazing drive. Taylor was the 1st person I ever met in a UCSB class when we both enrolled in the transitional program during the summer of 1998. Taylor can be intrepid, intimidating and vulnerable all at the same time. Taylor is the type of person I never have to worry about, she has incredible head on her shoulders and the will to back up her aspirations with action.

It's no wonder Taylor and I lost touch. She's participated in Peace Corps, countless research opportunities across the world, and an awesome Master's program in Michigan. Wherever she is, I miss her and welcome her friendship with open arms. I miss her in my life. It's been about 3 years since we last spoke and I hope that changes sometime very soon.

Alex

It's time to talk about Alex. A little under 4 years ago I met an amazing guy who I instantly clicked with and eventually fell head over heals for. A student at Stanford, in my eyes, Alex had it all: good looks, amazing heart, intelligence and a great personality. We went out a couple of times but it didn't take long for us to decided on making things official. There was chemistry and there were fireworks! We a lot of laughs, but then we also fought...and fought...and fought. We're like minded in a lot of ways, both similarly stubborn, opinionated, and terribly reactive. I always held back with Alex because I was conscious that our summer romance would end once he headed back to Stanford while I'd be heading back to UCSB. I stopped trying because, well...in someways I wanted things to fail because I don't think I'd be able to handle a long distance relationship, especially if I were in love. He's such an amazing person, I'd never want him too far from me. It wouldn't be the 1st time I've sabotaged a relationship with someone. Things ended but I always knew we would be friends and that time has finally arrived.

Since 2004 there were sporadic moments of communication between us. He needed time and I understood that an immediate friendship wouldn't happen even if i tried to will it. A recent college graduate, Alex has moved back to Burbank we've been hanging out a lot. Going out to clubs was difficult at first because I would get jealous when he was approached by other guys but that quickly evaporated. We've become close and genuine friends. I love Alex, he's one of my best friends now and it's been sooo much fun hanging out at clubs, coffee shops and everywhere else in between. Our conversations are deep and we do turn to each other for guidance and advice. I especially turn to check out that huge bubble butt of his (its hard not to stare at it) I don't think he minds it just yet.

It's funny that he thinks so highly of my friends because the friends that have met him think equally highly of him. I do have a great circle of friends and Alex is finally where he belongs again, in my heart alongside my friends and family.

A moment of gratitude

Alex's comment about my friends kept me very pensive and for great reasons. I have the most wonderful friends in the world. Not only are these people caring but they're also extremely talented beings! The best thing about them is that all of my friends get along with each other even if they've just met. It's never a dull time with these guys.

Two snaps to you all for being the sunshine in my life!