To date or not to date

Can you have a future if your past is present?
-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

I don't understand myself. There are numerous reasons for why I don't think I'm ready to date. For one, I think I may be numb to life. Secondly, I think that I withhold too much. Third, I'm a runner, when things get serious and intimacy presents itself I turn into Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride and head for the hills.


Alex and I have been hanging out a lot recently. We were discussing our current state of relationships and although there are some commonalities, I've realized that I'm way to jaded. There's an emotional release that I feel I must experience in order to let go of various emotions that have been amassed over the last couple of years. I think 2006 was the last time I cried. I've tried everything, drinking, watching sappy movies, talking about this with friends, reading, and God knows what else, but nothing seems to work.


In discussing this with Alex, he think I may be putting way to much emphasis on the release as an end point instead of focusing on the process of healing itself. Does anyone else feel this way.


Let me be clear, I am happy with life. I have amazing friends, a great job, rewarding involvements, and I've done a great job of getting out there and participating in life. This tension has little to do with my present. It has more to do with an accumulation of small things that I've either never gotten over or unresolved matters that I may have to face.


Alex suggest it, I suck it up, grab life by the balls without placing any pressure or expectations on any situation or anyone with the sole intention of meeting new people, adding a new experience to my life, and having a beer. Is he right?