Life's tests are but a preparation for tomorrow's challenges. Though I've conquered many of those challenges, I didn't come to be victorious without casualties motivated by my envious, prideful and largely weak self. Intensity rises and I reacted. My innate response to conquer knows not the difference between friend or foe. I recoil, my will blurs these lines which exist in a deep gray area that yields in my favor for this amorphous pool results in an opportunity to strike...
I am infamous for destruction of happiness and our relationship. I am vulgar. Some choices I made out of survival and pride; deep within there exists a dark spot in my soul that I fear may be with be for the rest of my life. Sometimes I hate myself. There has to be a way to redeem myself but even if so, things won't ever be the same. My deepest condolences to you, the victim of your foolish good heart as it walked through the path of my destruction.
Victimized by my deception, my own soul remains a slave to these moments that define who I am. Life's daily struggles bare witness to a war placing my demons against the inner man who knows good but seldom practices it. With my salvation at stake, I rise to face endless hours of this epic battle to free myself from the chains of who I was and worse, who I am terrified to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment